Loki and Ingrid 24

All About Me

“I didn’t say anything…” Lydvor is staring at all of us with scorn as she gets up and walks away.

          “What?” Gamora looks up, grabbing her gun, “Look, I gotta go…”

          “Go where?”

          “Look, I do big important assassin-style space stuff—stuff that you,” she points at Loki, “Would not understand.”         

          “Nonsense. I understand every word you are saying. Doesn’t mean I think you’re not going to get yourself killed.”

          “Stop it. Or I’ll kill you.”

          “Oh, I’m sure that won’t be necessary.”

          “Stop it, right now! Or I’m gonna kill all of you!” shouts Lyd, from a few paces away.

          “Go ahead then,” Gamora says, “I think I can handle it!”

          “Let’s go!”

          “Go where?”

          “Back to your ship! We have our own, G, we don’t need you!”

          “Don’t call me G.”

          “G!”

          “Lyd!”

          “Shut it! We’re going!”

          “Ingrid?”

          “Yeah? I think I’ll stay here,” I’m so tired. Just so tired…

---

“Ingrid?” The fog in my brain is keeping me from forming thought. The voices are foreign, I barely recognize them as my parents…

          “Ingrid? This is Asgard. Our realm. And this is Jotunheim.”

          “The Frost Giants—they are evil!”

          “They’re gone, Ingrid!”

          “This work is so dull!”

          “Those murderous monsters! — I’ll kill them all one day—just you wait!”

          “Hey Ingrid! Hurry up! You can’t catch me!”

          “It’s okay—I’m not going to reach in and stab you!”

          “I can’t sleep, Ingrid.”

          “We all know what infinity stones are, Ingrid.”

          “You’re my brother’s best friend, you can drop the title.”

          “How long do you think you can dodge sparring?”

          “You, immature, brother? You can’t be serious!”

          “I am a monster, Ingrid.”         

          “This note is for if I fail to impress him.”

          “The forest is forbidden!”

          “It’s too much for you two to suffer…”

          “I have an army!”

          “I am indeed the daughter of Master Thanos himself.”

          “I can’t change my thoughts, Ingrid. How much longer?”

          “Oh no. Her first. Let’s make this hurt.”

          “No, Ingrid!”

          “HE’S NOT MY FATHER!”

          “No…I’m sorry Nova!”

          “NO, INGRID!” …

          I can begin to decipher them, mother, father, Calder, Loki, Thor, Sif, Nova…but I can’t move or speak; I can barely think.

          “Okay, don’t freak out! Don’t freak out!”

          “I’m not freaking out, are you freaking out?”

          “YES!”

          “At least Gamora got away…”

          “What? I think she’s dead!”

          “She’s not dead. Give me a minute.”

          “Did we kill her?”

          “No, the harsh environments of Jotunheim are more than she is used to.”

          “As if!”

          “In case you forgot Lydvor, Ingrid is Asgardian.”

          “Oh yeah. I actually kinda like her. I mean, if she died I’d be worried.”

          “Nobody is going to die.”

          “No heartbeat!”

          “The heart isn’t in the foot, idiot!”

          “I’m trying to get a pulse!”

          “She’s wearing boots! Go for the wrist!”      

          I feel cold hands sliding up my wrist now, as chills afresh crawl down my spine.

          “I’m not a doctor!”

          “Good thing, too!”

          “You do it! She’s gonna freak out if she wakes up and sees me!”

          “Yeah, right. Let me change…”

          “YOU. ARE. JOTUN! Deal with it! Your Asgardian magic is—”

          “I never wanted her to see that.”

          “Oh, Loki. Are you scared?”

          “No.”

          “Scared she won’t like you anymore?”

          “GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”

          “Scared for—”

          “I hear a slap and Lydvor scream, “You stop it!”

          “Stop what?”

          “Nothing. I hate you!”

          “Ingrid?”

          “She’s dead, idiot!”

          “She’s not dead!”

          I’m not dead! I want to say, but the words won’t come out.

          “Don’t worry, I’m getting a pulse, and you’re an idiot!”

          Stop arguing, guys.

          “Ingrid? Are you okay?”

          “Of course, she’s not okay, idiot!”

          “I’m ignoring you!”

          “Fine.”

          Everything, just seems muddled, and wrong. I try to speak, to move, to do anything. “Get help!” screams Lyd from the distance. Wait, Lyd. Loki’s sister…Jotun Loki…what Calder warned of…

          “You killed them…”

          “What? You’re awake?”

          “They killed our parents!”

          “What? I’m not…”

          “The infinity stones—Thanos?”         

          “Safe…Ingrid that was a long time ago.”

          “No, it…”

          I open my eyes, fighting my eyelids that feel like bricks…and I see a blue person staring back at me. “Auuuuggghhhhhhh!”

          “What? Hold on!”

          “Auuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggghhhhhhhh! You’re blue!”

          “Told you…”

          “Auuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

          “Okay, that’s it.” And I know no more.

---

I wake up suddenly, to a dark, cold landscape. My head is throbbing. I squint, and there is Loki, and some girl with long, dark hair, whom I don’t recognize, pouting.

          “What happened?” I ask, grabbing my head.

          “I used one of Thor’s old tricks…I was in my Jotun form—thanks Lyd, and you were screaming at me…”

          “I’m sorry…it was so weird. Like there were all these people and voices…like you and Thor and my parents, Calder, Sif…”

          “I’m sorry about leaving you. We were a bit distracted getting Gamora off the planet.

          “Is she okay?”       

          “I don’t know. I hope she doesn’t hate me. Since everyone hates me.”

          “I don’t hate you.”

          “You screamed at me! You talked about the Frost Giants killing everyone!”

          “Look, I said it doesn’t make sense…but you left me in the cold…it’s dangerous to be alone in the cold! I still can’t move…”

          “I said I was sorry. And I’m here now. And it sounds like you hate me.”

          “Loki…!”

          “I never should have expected you to love me.”

          “Stop it. Now.”

          “Are you mad?”

          “Yes. But it’s not what you think!”

          “I knew it!”

          “Look, I don’t see how I almost died thanks to your negligence!”

          “You sound like Sif.”

          “This isn’t about Sif!”

          “Fine. Then what is it about? Your pride?”  

          “How about my life? And yes, I am mad. You exiled your father to earth! King Odin! You can’t just do that!”

          “Oh yes I can.”

          “Why do you think you have all the power! That you’re in charge! Maybe it’s not all about you!” I stumble to my feet as I try to stand up, to advance…

          “I’M NOT GOING TO HELP YOU!”

          “I knew it. You’re just out for yourself!”

          “You don’t care about me! You never did!”

          “You used me as a tool—so you could complain about all your problems—”

          “They aren’t my problems! It’s the fate of a kingdom!”

          “No, it’s the fate of yourself. At least you have a father…and a mother! You let your mother die, because you were imprisoned for your actions on Midgard! You didn’t have to make the deal to protect me! I can protect myself! And you sent your father to Earth—to die! And you estranged your brother—”

          “Do you remember what happened? After Midgard? You asked me to kill you, that’s how bad it was! We tried to make an appeal to Odin—he deserves this!”

          “It’s not about what he deserves! He’s your family!”

          “IT WASN’T MY FAULT! THANOS HAD ME!”

          “Maybe he should have!”

          “He’s not my family! You know who else was my family? Laufey!”

          “You betrayed and killed him!”

          “He was worthless! Completely worthless!”

          “That’s what you think--!”

          “YOU DIDN’T KNOW HIM! HE LEFT ME TO DIE!”

          “Maybe that’s what you deserved! You can’t just take over a kingdom…do what you did in Asgard! You are just like the rest of them!” I am on my feet now, and not hesitant as my fist aims for Loki’s face. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Lydvor’s gaze, still in her disguise as I say that, “Calder was ri! —” I feel the force of a thousand winters upon me now, as I fall backwards…I am outmatched. I am defeated.

---

“Ingrid? Ingrid! Wake up!”      

          Wait, I’m still here, somehow, in a cave, out of the wind at least. Everything hurts…not in the way Nova’s methods hurt…not that bad…I can still breathe. But the wound cuts deeper in every way.

          “Ingrid!”

          “Why do you care? Why are you still here? You tried to kill me.”

          “Ingrid….”

          “Go away, Loki. No, stay here on Jotunheim where you belong. I will contact Thor…”

          “No, please!”

          “Asgard needs a king, Loki. And it can’t be you.” I turn my back and study the etchings on the cave wall.

          “It’s going to have to be. I was right.”

          “You were never right?”

          “No. When I was younger and I said I used to dream about being king…and horrible things happening. It all started when Thor became king…you’re right, it’s all my fault. But I have to make it right. Odin is not well. He has chosen to remain in exile on Midgard. And Thor…heaven knows where Thor is, he doesn’t even know it’s me, but…”

          “I know. I’m sorry. It doesn’t mean I like it. It doesn’t mean I have to agree. It doesn’t mean I have to talk to you ever again.”

          “Really? After everything. Thanos and Nova?”

          “Don’t say it.”

          “Thanos.”    

          “Stop.”

          “Thanos.”

          “I said, stop.”

          “Nothing bad is happening.”

          “I know. I still hate it.”

          “I’m sorry.”

          “Stay here, Loki.”

          “No. If all Frost Giants are the same, I don’t want to have anything to do with him. I am Asgardian. Same as you.”

          “No. You will never be Asgardian.”

          “Then I am a failure.”

          “Yes, you are.”

          “I’m glad to hear you being so honest. Lies are fun, but it’s refreshing to tell the truth.”

          “No, of course it’s not true, I didn’t mean that.”

          “Look, I know you’ll never forgive me, and I wouldn’t expect that of you. I have to go back to Asgard. Are you coming?”

          “You tried to kill me. With your spell.”

          “You were about to hit me…I lost control, I’m sorry. All empty, words, lies. They mean nothing to you.”

          “Go away, Loki. If you’re looking for favor you won’t find it here.”

          “Then what am I doing here? Where’s my book. I need some paper.”

          “No, Loki. Not again.”

          “It was the last chance for Father. And he said ‘no’.”

          “You were trying to destroy a realm.”

          “That wasn’t the point.”

          “I’m sorry. We should be going back.”

          “No. You should be going.”

          “If you try anything again—I don’t think I could live with that…the guilt.”

          “What?”

          “You don’t want to die.”

          “Who said? I thought you cared about me.”

          “I do. I’m sorry for what I said and I mean it. The wool doesn’t lie.”

          “Then the wool was wrong.”

          “Loki. I need you to promise me…”

          “That I won’t die? I can’t promise that? What if Thanos sends a legion of spaceships?”

          “I won’t let him.”

          “I’m sorry I hurt you—and no, you aren’t allowed to deal with Thanos.”

          “Says who?”

          “Says me. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

          “Is that because I’m a girl? You think I can’t protect myself?”

          “No. It’s because you’re right, it was always about me. But you forgot the end.”

          “The end?”

          “It was always about me…and you.”