Loki and Ingrid 32

Mind Games

“Aaaaaaaiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” I hear an earsplitting scream from down the hall where I am walking, and I turn on my heels and run. I kick open the door to see Lyd screaming at the top of her lungs.

          “You’re not allowed to use magic on me! It’s cursed! Cursed!” Auuugghhhhh!”

          “I saved your life, idiot.”

          “I hate you.”

          “Good.”

          “But you’re freaking me out with your Asgardian magic!”

          “Stop, okay? I learned everything from my mother—”

          “Asgardians. And their magic, their warfare; it’s all the same. Destruction.”

          “Don’t talk about my mother that way!”

          “Stop.”

          “Ingrid? What are you--?”

          “You two have to stop arguing!”

          “Why?” Lyd laughs, “It’s fun!”

          “Really?”

          “Yeah! More fun than sitting around outside that dump on Zephenare.”

          “I thought you liked it there.”

          “Ah, nevermind. Just saying….”

          “You’re not saying anything.”   

          “Don’t bother her, she did just almost die,” says Loki.

          “You’re bothering her!”

          “We don’t talk about my mother that way!”

          “It’s funny, since I told you to stop arguing. Then you’re arguing with me.”

          “I’m not—”

          “Yes, you are.”

          “You started it!”

          “You sound like a little kid!”

          “You sound like—”

          “I know what you want.”

          “What? I don’t want anything.”

          “You want me to do what you want me to do. You don’t want me to make my own decision. If I think everything you’re doing is stupid, you aren’t going to change my mind.”

          “I would have three years ago.”

          “Yeah. Maybe because I was an idiot. And you like idiots. You like using idiots.”

          “I never—”

          “I have to go,” I sigh, “Don’t kill each other.”

---

You don’t have to be so rude about it, Ingrid. Yes, he’s taking advantage of you. He has been for years. He deserves it. You love him. You know you’ll always go back. Weak girl. You should apologize. Never speak to him again. You’re queen of Asgard. You have responsibilities. Go to Xandar and drink it off. Forget about it. This isn’t anything new. He’s always done this. He needed me. Still does. If I’m not here—Sif can keep him in check. I can go find Thor…no, that would just stir up more trouble. Loki would never speak to me again. Isn’t that what you want? Yes! No. I love him. He’d have you banished for treason. Or worse, executed. No, he can’t do that. Not after everything. Oh yes, he could. No, silly, that’s Calder talking. What if Calder is right? This room is a disaster. You should clean, Ingrid. Pick up the glass on the floor and stop acting like an idiot.

          I pick up two shards of the smooth green glass and hold them in my hand, still dazed. I close my hand around the glass, and feel it piercing my skin. I barely even feel anything. I don’t care anymore. My hand continues to tighten around the glass as I stumble out of the bedroom and knock on Loki’s door. “Hey, I’m sorryaboutearlier, just me, you know, that weird girl with glass in her hand, stop it…”

          “Ingrid? Are you drunk?”

          “Mayyybeeee, I dunno, I was thinking straight a fewminutes ago…”

          “You are very, very drunk.”

          “Butidon’t drinkkkk….”

          “Come in, do you need a glass of water?”

          “Waaaater…?”

          Something clicks in my head as I stumble through the door and it closes behind me. I try to stand up straight but fall on my face in the process.

          “I’ll pour you a glass.”

          “No,” I say, dusting myself off, “I’m fine; I’m not drunnnk, and I’ll be going now…” I stumble towards the door and try to open it. It doesn’t budge. Suddenly, a surge of a thousand thoughts explodes into my brain, clear as day, and I can stand again. “Let me go! Now!”

          Loki doesn’t respond, only continues to write in his book, not acknowledging me, or getting up to pour the water.

          “And I won’t be having that water!”

          “Good, because there isn’t any.”

          “You wanted to bait me in here with water?!”

          “No, I forgot I finished it. Along with the pie.”

          “There’s pie?”

          “I said, I finished it.”

          Darn. “What do you want with me?”

          No response.

          “I know what you want. Let me go! I said no!”

          “’No’, what?”

          I freeze, as I look at the locked door once more. “You just want to get me in bed with you.”

          “Well, since, I’m pretty sure, your bed is covered with glass shards and Calder’s dust…”

          “No, what I meant to say, was, you’re trying to get me in bed with you. I mean, it’s pretty obvious. You were trying to give me something to drink, you locked the goddam door! —I’m trapped in here! And I said, ‘no’!”

          Loki continues to ignore me as I finish.

          “At least admit what you’re doing! Say something! You promised me that you didn’t care about sex. And I was stupid enough to believe you!”

          “I’m not—”

          “You like tricks, don’t you? You tricked me when I was drunk!”

          “You sound like Sif. And besides, you were the one drinking.”

          “Let me go!” I shake the door handle to no avail, as I collapse to the floor, sobbing. “Fine! Do whatever you want with me; do it, just get it over with, please! Then I never want to see you again!”

          He continues to write, ignoring me. “JUST GET IT OVER WITH!”

          “You’re still drunk.”

          “I’m not--!”

          “You’re making illusions with your mind.”

          “Stop! Just stop! I know how dangerous you are! You have a habit of hurting those you claim to love, why should I trust you?!”

          “I know, I’m not trustworthy. I just don’t want you to go—”

          “Your insecurities—stop it! If you want to be a decent person, for ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, you’ll OPEN THAT DOOR!”

          “And let the entire palace be subject to your drunk wanderings and screamings in the middle of the night? I don’t think so.”

          “Please. If you want to regain my trust.”

          “I know you’ll never trust me, Ingrid. So, why should I pretend to be trustworthy?”

          “Please, don’t do anything!”

          “I’m not. I’m writing.”

          “Then let me go and get back to it!”

          “Please, don’t go.”

          “Not with that trick again. And for the record, I wouldn’t have drunk anything you’d have offered me.”

          “A good policy.”

          “You totally could have poisoned me—open the door!”

          “Fine. I don’t want you to feel unsafe…but I also don’t want you to wonder around drunk. Don’t blame me for anything you do.”

          “I wasn’t—oh, thank you!” He slowly unlocks the door, “I thought—I thought you wanted—”

          “You made it very clear what you thought I wanted. I’m pretty sure you can’t read minds.”

          “No, I can’t. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t assume anything.”

          “But don’t you trust me?”

          “Honestly, no. Who would trust you? Thor trusted you! Lyd trusted you! I trusted you! But every time, you betray our trust. Do the unexpected!”

          “How do you expect me to vanquish the servants of Thanos, by being predictable? The door is unlocked by the way, you can go.”

          I hesitate. “Well, I suppose that’s true. But you also betrayed the entire kingdom, and I’m trying to repair the damage—”

          “I’m sorry. There are reasons. Hela—if she comes to Asgard—”

          No, you just hate your father, I think, but I don’t say it. Instead, I nod. “I still have to please them.”

          “We’ll fix it together.”

          “I know, I’m sorry. What are you writing?”

          “I don’t share my writing.”

          “Even when it’s poetry about me?”

          “That was the book. The contract, you do stand by it, don’t you?”

          “Yes…for now,” I say, hesitantly, “Unless you do anything—”

          “Yeah, I know. Just stop.”

          “Fine. Can I hear what you’re writing?”

          “No.”

          “Fine, then I’ll go.”

          “Fine. You win. Just don’t judge.”