Loki an Ingrid 42

Ravagers of the Mind

I wake up in a cold sweat. I must have been dreaming about something, but I don’t know what. It takes me a minute to realize that I’m still on Thor’s spaceship, and it all comes flooding back to me. How am I alive? How is anything okay? How is my body, my mind, anything still intact? I slowly sit up and look around, to see Thor and Lyd at the ship’s controls.

          “I’m sorry if I ruined anything,” says Lyd, sipping on some sort of drink. “Y’’know, I mighta let some shit slip.”

          “You were running for your life. And Ingrid wanted me to know anyway. We still need to find the soul stone and the time stone, not to mention getting the mind stone from the Avengers, that could be difficult, and finding a way to safely destroy them which is easier said than done.”

          “Loki said he knew where the soul stone is, while we were trapped Gadalia was trying to learn things from her and he reversed the effect and saw her memories. Ingrid’s and my minds were linked, and she saw…some things.”

          “Gadalia may have been using false memories to confuse him…”

          “I don’t know. Ask him if you wanna know, I don’t know where it is, don’t look at me!”

          “I’m not. And we should let him rest.”

          “Is Sif okay?”

          “I think so. Just give it time.”

          “I’m bored.”

          “There’s nothing keeping you here Lydvor, you can go with that new ship of yours.”

          “Yep, it’s a beauty. Looks like the Nova Corps was just looking for an excuse to give a ship away, considering I don’t exactly have a lawful history—Ingrid, you’re awake!”

          “Yeah,” I say, “What about the Nova Corps?”

          “Oh nothing, they gave me a ship.”

          “Did you guys—”

          “Nah, even Thor doesn’t have the balls to steal an infinity stone.”

          “Good,” I sigh, “Wouldn’t really want that on the ship. So, what were you doing there?”

          “Just giving them some stats on Gadalia. She’s a wanted woman.”

          “Glad to hear that. Everyone else ok?”

          “Yeah, asshole, of course Loki and Sif and I aren’t okay!”

          “I think she means alive and breathing, and yes, we are,” says Sif, entering, but she looks tired.

          “What are you doing up and about?” asks Thor, “You need to let that heal.”

          “Bored,” says Sif looking at us. “Lyd, not much to do on your new ship.”

          Lyd looks at her with scorn.

          “When Loki wakes up we can figure out the ships.”

          “What?” I look around, what are we figuring out?”

          “Do you really expect me to stay, Ingrid?”

          “Thor, don’t leave!”

          “I should check on affairs on Midgard.”

          “I almost died, Thor! This is not a time to go see Jane!”

          “Jane and I broke up, remember! I need to check on the Avengers, and—”

          “Fine,” Sif pouts, “But I’m still jealous.”

          “You need to rest.”

          “Are you serious?!” she groans. “Ugh!”

          “You got shot, Sif, remember.”

          “Yeah, botched rescue.”   

          “Blame Loki for that, not me!”

          “He organized the whole thing!” says Lyd, pointing at Thor.

          “It wasn’t his fault,” I tell them, “I’m not very good at being secretive.”

          “It’s fine,” says Thor, “Not a good time to assign blame.”

          “How long was I out?”

          “Three days, why?”         

          “What I miss?”

          “Not much,” chimes in Lyd, “Just the Nova Corp visit…”         

          “Okay.” My head still hurts. “I guess I’m just glad I’m alive.”

          “You remember what Loki told you about traveling, right?”

          “Yeah, I remember. Something about me resisting it and interference and it being dangerous over long-distances. I don’t care, really.”

          “Are you mad? You sound mad. I didn’t do anything!”

          “I’m not mad!”

          “Blame Loki not me, his magic almost killed you,” says Lyd, dryly.

          “No, his magic saved all five of us.”

          “Should have just used Bifrost,” Lyd sounds angrier than me. That’s my problem with her. She’s always angry. “I hate his sorcery, and I don’t want you to die, Ingrid.”

          “That’s nice but—”

          “Back off the system, Thor, you can’t fly, and Calder wants to see you, Ingrid.”

          “Loki? What are you?—”

          “Shut up, Lyd,” I mutter.

          “Close the door, idiot!”

          “No one’s here anyway.”

          “Is Calder here then?” I ask.

          “Of course not, he’s back on Asgard.”

          “Where are we then?”

          “Jotunheim. Not my choice but hopefully remote enough for now. And my sister would have killed me if we were to go to Zephenare.”

          “Don’t talk about it! It’s a hellhole of scum! Just putrid, fucking scum!”

          “Calm down, Lyd.”

          “No, I’m not going to be calm!” she looks furious, “And you almost killed Ingrid!”  

          “It was the mind chip, and you know I don’t travel well anyway, Lyd—LYD!”

          She stands there, gun out, aimed at the wall between me and Loki. “If you ever defend him again,” she spits, then throws the gun to the floor. “Sometimes I just want to kill all of you.”

          “Kill Thanos please. Or Gadalia,” I tell her, slightly taken aback by the sudden outburst, but simultaneously expecting it.

          “Please don’t get angry at Loki…”

          “I can’t help it!”

          “Well, don’t take it out on him!” It’s Sif, making sure nobody gets killed. She looks at me in a funny way.

          Lyd stands paralyzed. She takes a step, then another. Then she pulls out a chair and sits down, slowly. She looks me dead in the eye, then gestures at Thor and Sif. “I should tell them, shouldn’t I?”

          “Up to you. I won’t tell, don’t worry. And you won’t either, right, Loki.”

          “It’s not that,” says Lyd, “They deserve to know.”

          “Know what?” asks Sif.

          “It might take a while to explain everything,” says Lyd. “If you’re willing to listen. I won’t leave anything out.”

***

Nothing remains a secret, it’s all out in the open: Lyd’s past, including all the minute details of Gadalia’s bullying, my parents and Calder, what happened to my hand, Thor and Loki as children, even Sif’s line of nobility. Thanos, Nova, Aura, Gadalia, Gemina, Proxima, the Other. Gamora and the Guardians. The infinity stones, yes, all of them, all that we know, and don’t know. It feels like every minute detail of our lives, no matter how ugly, has been laid out on the table, and I want to destroy it. Destroy the ugly. Destroy the pain. Destroy everything. It’s sitting there, and I just want Thor to take Mjolnir to it and destroy it. But alas, memories cannot be destroyed, they are a part of us.

          What follows is a long, uncomfortable silence. No one knows what to say, how to take in what they just heard from the others. Finally, Lyd, breaks the silence. “So, if you thought it was a swashbuckling tale of Lydvor the bounty hunter, then you should get your puny brains checked. And that’s why I hate Zephenare so much.”

          “You have every right to be angry,” says Thor, “But you can’t take it out on them.”

          “Oh, don’t tell me what to do,” she snaps, “And yeah, I know.”

          “Guess you’d better be going, Thor,” sighs Sif, “Wish I could go with you.”

          “That would not be wise.”

          “Call me if you need me, muscles.”

          Thor looks at her for a second, then shakes his head, “Make sure Asgard doesn’t explode while I’m gone. I’ve got the security planned out, and your brother, Ingrid, is—”

          “Calder, I know,” I cut him off. “We won’t.” Hela and Ragnarok were the only secrets that remained with Loki and me. Maybe I should—

          “Don’t tell him, Ingrid.”

          “Don’t read my mind!” I look up.

          “Tell me what?” asks Thor.

          “Nothing. Just leave already.”

          “Can you all fit on Lyd’s ship?”

          “Yeah, they can,” says Lyd, “I’ll get them to Asgard.”

          “You’d better, they need me,” says Sif, “And you two.”

          Ugh. I really don’t want to worry about being queen right now. It all feels so small, so trivial. I wish…I wish. I don’t know what I wish. I just do.”

***

“I really should be going,” We’re all on Lyd’s ship, a bit cramped, but warm and comfortable. Top-tier vessel meant for two, but I love it.

          “Why do you always have to leave,” whines Sif, “I don’t want you to leave.”

          “Trust me, Sif, it’s not personal.”

          “You know how I feel about you.”     

          “Yes, unrequited love is—”

          “Shut up, Loki.”

          “No.”

          “Can we not talk about this? I ask, you stalking me when we were kids?”

          “I wasn’t—” Whatever. I sigh. I don’t want Thor to go either. I don’t want anything to happen. I don’t want him to go. I know he’ll want to say goodbye to Loki and Sif. I lay back on the cushions in the back of Lyd’s ship and close my eyes.

***

“Ingrid?” Loki and I are lying on the cushions on the floor of Lyd’s new ship. Lyd won’t sleep, determined to fly manual the entire way, no questions asked, and we gave Sif the cot in the captain’s quarters to rest.

          “What?”

          “Are you okay?”

          “Yeah, why?” There’s a silence. “Loki?”

          “I’m sorry the transport hurt so much.”

          “It’s not your fault, don’t listen to Lyd.”

          “Do I ever?”

          “It was Gadalia and the chip. The stuff I saw was so scary.”

          “I know. I was afraid you wouldn’t snap out of it.”

          “But I did. Thank you. It may have been risky, but you saved my life.”

          “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

          “I don’t’ feel like counting.”

          “Why not? It would help you sleep.”

          I don’t need help, I say, as I stare at the low, pulsing red light on the roof of the ship. The systems are running on minimum power, and it’s dark and quiet. Prime conditions for sleep.

***

“Wake up, assholes, we’re here,” snaps Lyd, kicking the cushions.

          “Ow! Stop!”

          “You stop, Loki, come on!”

          “Glad to see you’re okay.” I freeze. It’s Calder. “That Frost Giant magic was a close call, wasn’t it?” He snickers. “And now, to do what I’ve been meaning to do for a long time…”