Loki and Ingrid 50

Infinty war spoilers but it's 2019 and no one cares. Still one or two more parts and some things to wrap up after this.

Sorry

“All I ever wanted was appreciation. That feeling led to greed. Which lead to evil. Which led me to Thanos.”

          I nod.

          “Getting it from my mother wasn’t enough. I always wanted my father to think of me the way he thought of Thor—to respect my tricks and magic as much as he respected Thor’s strength and courage.”

          “I know. I don’t blame you.”

          “You should. It was all my fault, I banished Thor, I—I got Mother killed—that’s really what caused Father’s decline.”

          “Thanos is extremely powerful.” I say, “Don’t say it’s your fault.”

          “We can’t let him win for that reason.”

          “I know. For every reason. For the good of the universe.”

          Loki nods. “You have to promise me—”

          “I’ll do everything I can.”

          “And that’s all I can ask.”

          Suddenly, I’m knocked off my feet and I quickly try to catch my breath. I hear an all-too-familiar voice growling now. I hear her, and I am afraid.

          “Where are they?”

          “Lydvor?” Loki looks up. She’s attacking me. I thought she hated him. I had everything wrong.

          “Where are the stones?”

          “Let go of me, Lyd!” I shout, “You aren’t like this! And you know where they are.”

          “I know where they were—”

          “What do you—”

          “I don’t care who I have to kill to get them. Who do I have to go through?”

          What is she doing? I pant. I can’t breathe.

          “Let go of her! What do you think you’re doing? You’re mad!”

          Lydvor pants and backs off, still sneering at me. “I have to get the stones and use them.”

          “That was never the plan! We need to destroy them!”

          Lyd laughs, a cold laugh. “No, I have to use them! Destroy all evil! Destroy Thanos and his minions! Destroy the slave-traders and the people who stomped all over me—they will know my name!”

          “Lyd, please,” I’m begging her now. “It’s too much power. I can’t trust you with it. Something would go wrong. I wouldn’t even trust myself! We need to get to the stones and destroy them before Thanos does.”

          “You don’t understand! I have to stop them! Kill them all!”

          “There will always be injustice in the universe, Lyd.”

          “Stop trying to reason with me, Ingrid! I’ll kill you if I have to!”

          “You wouldn’t.”   

          “Yes, I would—” she pants. “I would do anything—”

          “You can’t do it. Ingrid is the only friend you have left, and you know that. You’re just angry, and rightly so. Direct your anger at Thanos—we’re doing what’s ultimately best for everyone.”

          “And to trust your judgement, Loki—” spits Lydvor, “Fuck your mind tricks! I—”

          “If you’re going to kill me, go ahead and kill me. Thanos is going to kill me anyway.”

          Lyd lowers the knife. “Destiny.” Still breathing, heavily, she turns back to me. “So, since you’re apparently the new source of authority on things, Ingrid, what do you want me to do? I can’t kill anyone. I can’t use the stones. I can’t fuck up worse than I already have. What do you need, Ingrid?”

          I turn my head away. “Please just—”

          “Just what.”

          “Just go—” I’m quiet. I don’t have anyone now. Let’s do this.

***

          I’m back on Midgard in an instant. It feels so unreal to be back here with Thor and Loki, all an act of ignorance, going to see Odin. I’m not supposed to be here, and I know that. Everything feels wrong. I don’t know why I’m here anymore. I have to be here. It’s destiny. I feel the wind blowing through my face as we arrive at the cliffside where Odin is standing. Loki whispers something to me to stay hidden, and I do. And I have to witness everything now. Everything.

***

How did everything go so horribly wrong? Hela is on Asgard now, her power is only growing. Heimdall has the people in hiding, but it will only hold for so long. Luckily, I made it back to Asgard unlike Thor and Loki. Hela didn’t notice me or see me as a threat. I’m hiding. I know Thor and Loki will be back. It’s all coming down to this.

***

I’m sitting on the Asgardian refugee ship, staring out the window. I was right, Asgard would be destroyed. Thor said it was the only way to save the people. Somehow, I want to ask him how he thinks we can possibly be safe after all this. With Thanos coming.

***

“I have it.”

          “Loki, you didn’t,” I whisper. “It could have been left on Asgard and destroyed.”

          “It’s not that easy to destroy an infinity stone, Ingrid.” It would be lost in space. We can’t afford to give up its location—”

          “You greedy—” I stop. There isn’t time for this. Everything is wrong. Everything feels wrong.

          “Ingrid. I know it’s hard to understand.”

          I nod.

          “He’s coming for it. For me.”

          “You baited Thanos straight to the refugee ship.” 

          “I know what’s going on. He already obliterated Xandar for the power stone.”

          “No.”

          “Yes. You know where the other four stones are?”

          “Y—yes.” I stutter. “I know, it’s just I—”

          “Be careful, Ingrid, promise me! You have to run! Queen of Asgard.”

          “No, Brunhilde.” I whisper. “She is—”

          “Stop.”

          “I—”

          “Brunhilde and Thor.”

          “Thor is the rightful ruler.”

          I nod. “Listen, I—”

          “Stop. Don’t make this harder.”

          “Harder for you?” I can barely breathe anymore. At least you have forewarning. For the strike.”

***

All of this, death, destruction. I can barely breathe. All the people, slain on the floor of the ship, save for those who were able to escape. I missed my chance. I should have gone like I promised Loki. Even now, I fail him. All is quiet, as I sit in the shadows, watching. I know I shouldn’t. I know I shouldn’t even be here. But I can’t help it. Heimdall now. No. Not him. I’m almost numb, too shocked.

          “You’ll die for this!” I hear Thor yelling. Now he’s bonded. It’s Loki, now, with the tesseract.

          “Give it to me.”

          It’s Thanos.

          “The tesseract, or your brother’s head.” His voice sends a chill down my spine.

          Just then, I see Loki acknowledge me. He knows I’m here. I freeze. What did I do, oh what—

          I try to think really hard, to communicate with him. “It’s ok. It’s gonna be ok.” But I know, I’m just convincing myself of a lie.

          Loki looks down again. He’s asking which one. I know now. I understand him like no other.

          I breathe. Thor is too strong and vital to the plan. He will be crucial in bringing down Thanos, I know it. I can’t let him die. More importantly, he’s my friend—but will Thanos keep his word, is it too selfish?

          I can tell he’s already made up his mind without me, as he slowly hands it over to Thanos, its cold blue light permeating the room. It’s like he said to Lyd. He couldn’t do it. Maybe it was the wrong choice. Maybe he knows more than me. Had he killed Thor, he would have just claimed the tesseract anyway. Thanos knew Loki was too weak to withhold.

          Loki is trying to convince them he can guide them to Earth. I know, joining, them, betraying them from the inside is a last-ditch effort, but they would never trust him.

          I can sense it now, the thought, permeating my brain. Run. Run, Ingrid.

          It’s not my mind telling me. Maybe I’m being delusional, all I know is I’m broken. I can’t breathe. I can’t think anything except ‘run’. But there is nowhere to run to.

          I’m quiet. Maybe something, somehow will save me. I can hope for survival. I have to try. I know more than most and—

          “Oh, mighty Thanos. I Loki, Prince of Asgard, Odinson, the rightful king of Jotunheim—”

          Thank you.

          “God of Mischief, do hereby pledge—”

          I’ll try to escape.

          “My undying fidelity.”

          I love you.

          “Undying? You should choose your next words more wisely.”

          I have to go. I don’t have time. I must find a way to escape. Is there another pod? Does Thor know I’m here? Oh, dear. Thor. I have to save him to. It’s up to me to get this ship back under control—

          Thanos isn’t going to stop. I can’t fight him. Thor and I need an escape right now. Thanos already put the tesseract into the gauntlet. Heimdall is dead and the Bifrost is destroyed. Maybe I can muster up something. Maybe I can save all of them, too….

          Too late. I can feel my body being shoved into the ground by one of Thanos minions. I can’t see. I close my eyes. I know Thanos would never put down the knife. It doesn’t matter what words Loki uses. Words don’t matter.

          “You will…”

          He may not even know. He’s not focused on me, not reading me. I know it.

          “Never be…”

          I keep my eyes closed. I can’t watch, have to wait, figure out—no, it’s too late. I can’t escape. Words are so important, and I’m not even sure if I can speak.

          Time seems to freeze as my brain tries to come up with some way, any way out of this. I blew it I didn’t run. I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry. That’s not important now.

          “I love you!”         

          “A God!”

          Suddenly, everything is black, and I can feel my every ounce of being being flung into the void of space. He did it. It’s over. He not only killed Loki, he destroyed the entire ship. Is Thor—there has to be some way for him to survive. He’s a god. But I am a mere mortal. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t run. I’m so, so sorry…so sorry….